TOTEFISHING from the CANYON 

Born out of real-life experience, here is what I suggest you do on Monday nights: 1.) Don’t order a caffe latte at the restaurant at 9:30 pm. You’ll regret it at 2 am. 2.) Oops. 3.) Find ways to amuse yourself quietly so as not to wake husband & kids. 4.) Don’t Facebook search ex-boyfriends. Acting like a stalker never makes anyone feel good. Even if he's now bald and his wife has a horse-face and thick thighs. 5. ) Don't measure your thighs. 6.) Don’t Linked In sear

In case the start-up business doesn’t pan out, I’ve got my next career at Hallmark all tee’d up: CARD #1 to Me (from my kids): Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I promise never to get A Mommy tatoo! CARD #2 to Me (from my kids): Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, You’re taller than Sophie’s Mom And you sing Katy Perry songs really good, TOO! CARD #3 to Me (from my kids circa 2034): Roses are Pink, Violets are White, I’m sorry I thought otherwise, Because it’s true. You were rig

As a self-annointed devotee, I have pitched unrelentingly the awe-inspiring merits of the newly-translated book, "The Life-Changing Mag

According to Marie Kondo, a life is best-lived uncluttered and surrounded only by the things that bring joy. Undeniable, right? Who isn'

Today, my neighbor died. I was there in her living room with her daughter, who has become a friend over the years, listening as the paramedics worked to revive her unresponsive pulse. I heard them call out for the fourth defibrillation. The danger-averting shout of “CLEAR” each time. It was just like on tv. Only, much more sad. The only deaths I’ve experienced first-hand were that of loved ones at the end of hard-fought battles with cancer. I remember my father’s last be

It’s like we’re twins: We live on the same street We both have a son & daughter between the ages of 7 – 9 We’re in our early 40s (that’s code for she’s 40 and I’m 41) We both have blogs We like to talk about the food we make for our kids We’re “career moms” Or not. She just published a second cookbook. I have 7 drafts of an unpublished manuscript in my living room armoire. She sings on stage in leather pants. I sing in my bedroom in my underpants. She works out 5 days a wee

My Daughter: “Mom, of all the famous ladies alive now, who do you like the most? Me: “Oh, that’s hard to say.” My Daughter: “But if you had to choose. Who do you love?” Me: “Does she have to be famous?” My Daughter: “Yes. Or else you’ll say ‘Me.’ ” Me: “Famous to me or famous to everyone?” My Daughter: “Famous on those magazines the babysitter brings over.” Me: “Can I choose different parts from different ladies?” My Daughter: “That’s not the game. But. Okay, f

Move over Malibu Barbie. HTML Barbie just bought some beach-front property and you’re getting evicted. The internet used to be limited to advanced web applications. But now, every brick-and-mortar has an online component. Banks, Grocery Stores, Schools. You name it, its virtual service is as good (if not better) than its physical equivalent. And it’s only going to continue that way. So, if you want your children to get a job when they finish their education, they’d bette

– 10 – While watching “Moneyball,” you spend most of the movie cheering on Brad Pitt’s deep forehead wrinkles because if Brad can pull off his then clearly you’re pulling off yours. – 9 – When your children ask if you would take them swimming at the YMCA, your first thought is “Damn it, I’ll need to wax.” Your second thought is “Where can I buy a suit with one of those skirts attached?” – 8 – You spend an inordinate amount of time massaging cream on the backs of your hands b

My son is 7 years old. He forgets that toilet paper shouldn’t be totally unrolled for fun. He forgets that tennis balls shouldn’t be hit against the side of the house right next to the kitchen windows. He forgets that feet aren’t allowed on the top of the dinner table (at dinner time). It’s no big surprise he has a hard time remembering his reading glasses even when he’s got a book in his hand. My son has a hard time distinguishing an “e” from an “o” in certain fonts but

I’m tired of all the cheating. Harvard kids working their take-home exams (Reuters 2/2/13). Teachers hiring proxies to take their certification exams (NBC 11/25/12). Lance Armstrong. Bernie Madoff. And too many Wall Street scandals to name. Clearly, we as a society have lost our ground on this one. So, I propose we need a change in the discourse we have with our kids. Maybe this focus we have on integrity, morality and ethics isn’t productive. I’m all for encouragin