I had my first “start-up Freakout” tonight and although I suspect it is the first in a long line of freak-outs (caused by my decision to start a company), I’m just suprised it came when it did. 10 pm on a Saturday night. We’d just been on a great family outing to see “TinTin” and eat mongolian beef at PF Changs. I was in”relax mode.”

Here’s the backstory.

I discovered Penelope Trunk’s blog this week and quickly became addicted. I’ve stayed up late the last two nights catching up on her last three+ years of blogs. Tonight, after the kids went to bed, my husband and I settled in on the couch to read. I read the first two chapters of “Digital Impact” and then, rewarded myself with a little bit of the P-Trunk. Well, well, well. Caution to anyone in the fragile state of starting a business. Don’t read the content under the “StartUps” section. It’s as uplifting as a visit to the urologist.

It appears that my future includes the following:

I’ll run out of money. I’ll fight with my co-founders. I’ll spend too much time on planes. I won’t get real respect from Silicon Valley. I’ll miss major milestones in my kids lives. I’ll get a divorce. I’ll move to a farm in Wisconsin.

If I hadn’t sworn off alcohol as my new year’s weight-loss short-cut, I’d be passed out in my own vodka-stained vomit instead of writing this blog. What was I thinking?!?

I suspect there’s both some truth in Penelope’s take on start-ups. It’s stressful. It’s overwhelming. There’s always more work to be done. 4 out of every 5 start-ups fail. But what else am I going to do with myself? I’ve always wanted to build something. I like making things better. I like To Do lists.

But I also really like my husband and reading books to my kids and shopping for cage-free eggs at WholeFoods.

Oh, how I hope Penelope has it wrong.

‘Cause I don’t want to live on a farm in Wisconsin!