Today, my 9-year old daughter shows me this picture of an upgrade avatar on the ipad game, Subway Surfer and says (and I quote):

“Mom, I don’t know what he’s holding but it costs a lot of coins so it must be really powerful.”

That’s a boombox, you little shit Gen Z’er.

It’s as powerful as shoulder pads, Jane Fonda’s aerobic VHS tape and parachute pants, all rolled into one middle-aged Mom body.

Gag me with a spoon. I’m not that old.

Am I?