• Deborah

If you like "Lord of the Flies," you must like killing people who wear glasses: News vs.


It’s official. The total erosion of the line between News and Blogs has occurred. Thanks to those whose fingers are broken (and thus, can’t typehttp://www.dictionary.com into their browser window), the two concepts have merged into one. One mega-corporation. One unified nation. One weirdly symmetrical, genetically-modified baby.

I introduce you to world of BLOGEWS.

Or NEWOGS. (The choice is yours. The influence is… well, I can’t reveal my sponsors but you can be sure their links are invisibly embedded in this sentence and once you accidentally hover over it, their cookies will be secretly entrenched in your computer for 164 days and they’ll ping you with many innocent pitches until you learn that you can’t live without their product. But I so digress.)

BLOGEWS (my favorite because it has a certain onomatopoeia to it… as in “Gazuntite”) is how you get all your facts & opinions rolled up into one delicious, confusing, “Fact or Crap” collection of paragraphs tracking all the world’s order, activities and movements and integrating them seamlessly with any-and-all passing, emotionally-riddled half-thoughts that run through anyone’s head while waiting at a red light.

And yes, BLOGEWS are re-tweetable, forwardable to 250+ other BLOGEWS in 1.2 seconds and automatically convert into funny-thus-viral youtube videos with high-production values, rap soundtracks and not-so-subtle product placements. And they’re free to everyone who has a unique (and thus traceable) IP address and a whiff of nostalgia for Walter Conkrite. Actually, nostalgia not required.

What?! I sound sarcastic?

Thank you for noticing.

If you outreach to www.dictionary.com, you’ll find the following:

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news [nooz, nyooz] Usually used with a singular verb

A report of a recent event; intelligence; information

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blog [blawg, blog] Noun, verb, blogged, blog·ging

A Web site containing the writer’s or group of writers’ own experiences, observations, opinions, etc., and often having images and links to other Websites.

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And if you dig a little further, you’ll find in the digital media handbook, “The New Rules of Marketing & PR,” David Scott writes:

“It is better to think of the web as a huge city teeming with individuals, and blogs as the sound of independent voices, just like those of the street-corner soap-box preacher or that friend of yours who always recommends the best books.”

Conversely, Columbia University Graduate School of Journalism (a consistent leader in Top 10 Schools of Journalism lists) writes in their website:

“The school prepares [journalism students] to perform a vital and challenging function in free societies: finding out the truth of complicated situations, usually under a time constraint, and communicating it in a clear, engaging fashion to the public.”

This means:

Blogs = Computer conversations akin to those you have in grocery lines, over the neighbor’s hedge or with that very knowledgeable (or not so much) mom in the school pick-up line. Expertise, Professionalism & Facts not required. Actually, not even really encouraged.

News = Presentation of facts in a fun way to read. In-touch with Reality, Responsibility and Thoroughness assumed. But what’s that expression about ass-uming??

News is news. Blogs are blogs.

Not any more, baby!

They went out and got drunk and we’re sharing their hangover.

Today’s current vodka-soaked pain comes in the form of Virginia Heffernan’s “Why did Ann Romney put ‘Anna Karenina on her Pinterest board news article in Yahoo! News. Hefferman’s byline says she “is the national correspondent for Yahoo! News, covering culture and politics from a digital perspective,” which doesn’t bode well for culture as we know it. Ms. Heffernan has written an incredibly probbing piece of journalistic something-or-other about Ann Romney’s choice of reading material.

My favorite line is:

“Still, Ann Romney’s move was a little stunning. Mitt Romney’s devoted wife—Mormon convert, mother of five, would-be first lady of the United States—champions a chronicle of … an open marriage?”

Now, I’m certainly not in the business of supporting the Romneys (I’m a staunch Democrat, among other things) but wrong is wrong, regardless of one’s political affiliation (um… yeah, except if you’re FOX BLOGEWS, of course). Heffernan, if born into a different time, would have made a wonderful leader in the Book-Burning movement. I’m just so glad we’re lucky she’s in our time, with our culture. ‘Cause she’s proven all that I always suspected:

People who like books about dogs, hate cats.

People who like the “The Twilight Series” (and who doesn’t love Edward?!!) spend hours trolling bestiality and necrophilia sites.

People who like the Bible can’t handle working with nails or rose bushes.

People who read “A Cat In the Hat” like to organize bakesale fundraisers for child molestors.

Yes. I’m being sarcastic.

But I’m writing a blog. Not a news article.