• Deborah

Day 127: 15 pounds and a 4-week vacation, you say?

First off, do NOT say anything about the lapse in my posts. I have no excuse. Other than it's busy raising two teenagers, maintaining a career, overseeing all house/life logistics during a global pandemic. Turned out, writing a blog post regularly didn't make the cut. Sorry. Ambition is a bitch.


What have I been up to? Nothing of note. That's the beauty of a pandemic, I guess. Just surviving, trying to raise those kids, maintain that career, keep my sanity, my health, and the house from falling down, make a stand for the BLM movement, you know, the basics. We did discover mold in said house, I've gained 15 pounds and I quit Facebook (with an exit befit the network - a loud tete-a-tete with a "friend" displaying an insane amount of white privilege). So, there's that.


But the most interesting thing? A good friend of mine got Covid, suffered through it for 5 weeks and has come out of the other side. Phew, right? Well, I'm here to tell you there's more to Covid than we knew. Like in a secret resort kind of way. Actually, Covid might just be a secret resort.


Hear me out.

Imagine this, fellow moms. You get Covid and are forced to stay in your room, alone, for 3+ weeks. Your husband and children cannot visit you other than to serve you a meal, three times a day. It's usually hot and nutritious 'cause they feel bad for you and "you know, Mom needs her nutrients." You can FaceTime them if you're "up to it." But if the call turns sour and people start complaining, you simply say, "Sorry, Mom's not feeling so great" and suddenly, the call's all about YOU and how valuable, appreciated and loved you are. Let the vacation begin.


Want a few hours of quiet meditation and time to explore all that mindfulness you've been foisting on your kids? A guilt-less escape from those endless To Do lists? An excuse to sit around and just stare at the ceiling? Or hours happily dedicated to suffering Twitter and shouting into the wind? Try Covid.


Keep in mind, while visiting Covid, you can't: do the laundry, make a meal, clean the house, referee a fight, nag a son who's gaming, care to even know if anyone's gaming, hear complaints about how unfair Covid is, prop up anyone's ego, dress in anything flattering, organize anyone's life, track anyone's mental wellbeing, plan for a virtual school year, plan a new tv series or sit through another Zoom conference call. AND, as if that's not fabulous enough... You. Lose. 15. Pounds. Without having to do one squat.


Seriously, what's a constant headache, a lot of fast-paced short-breathed breathing, aches and pains that cycle endlessly on a 24-hour schedule? Seen through a half-glass full, those are simply the symptoms of someone working out really hard, for a really long time. Like an Olympic Athlete, fighting for their life. Remember what your childhood gymnastics coach said - No pain, no gain. (But again... no squats). Honestly, my friend looks fabulous. Her skin is clear. Her ass, as she pointed out, tight and small. Do you hear that Moms? A small, tight ass and clear skin. Maybe her lungs are pockmarked but hey, sometime's you get a parasite eating street food.


I'm just saying - if we consider Covid through these rose colored glasses, maybe it's not so bad if we go there?